We’ve probably all had times when we’ve felt strongly affected by a certain situation out of our control, irritated by a colleague at work or ready to crawl into a hole at home while kids, pets or partners are oblivious to our inner meltdown. Perhaps some of us have even had to take time off work for burnout or might feel perpetually exhausted at the end of our day. We might think that going on a weekend getaway, treating ourselves to a spa day or taking up a new hobby might help us relax. Though these activities can be very important, and even highly recommended as deliberate relaxation, it takes more than just this sort of thing to regulate our nervous system.
And let’s face it – most people don’t have the time, or perhaps the means, to regularly engage in such activities. This is why the concept of self-regulation is so important in helping us tend to our minds, bodies and spirits on a daily basis. We can take as many spa days as we want but if we are unable to actively regulate our nervous systems, we are still at risk of burnout, compassion fatigue, chronic stress, reactivity, chronic illness and – ultimately – not living in an embodied and present manner. What is self-regulation? To answer this question, let’s dive a little deeper into our understanding of how our brains and bodies are connected.
Our brains receive information through different pathways, decide what to do with that information and then send a message back to our bodies to respond. This happens through the central nervous system (CNS) and the peripheral nervous system (PNS) (nerve offshoots of our CNS). Within the PNS, we have an involuntary part called the autonomic nervous system (ANS) that controls vital body functions but is also at the heart of our daily experiences. When our brains and bodies perceive that something in our environment is stressful, stress hormones will be activated, bringing on a whole set of physiological responses, and eventually long-term consequences. Our ability to self-regulate is directly related to the awareness we have of our responses and to how well we can bring our bodies back to a state of feeling calm, secure and connected.
Polyvagal Theory :
One particular model that can help us understand the ups and downs of our nervous system is called the Polyvagal Theory. This model was developed by neuroscientist and psychologist Stephen Porges in the 1990s. It has been used by clinicians within a therapeutic framework to explain the brain-body connection and how we engage with our environments. We’ve found that it can be a helpful theory for anyone looking to better understand their nervous system. We first need to acknowledge that we are born into this world with the primal instincts to survive and to connect (or attach). Polyvagal Theory proposes that our nervous system is constantly scanning our environments for signs of safety and of danger to know if we should connect and engage with the world.
The framework explores how our autonomic nervous system (ANS) responds and reacts “in service of survival” (Dana, Deb, 2022). The sympathetic branch mobilizes energy and prepares us for action or, in simpler terms, it is our Fight or Flight response. Polyvagal theory also looks at the two parts of the parasympathetic nervous system (often known as the Rest & Digest system): the ventral vagal and the dorsal vagal pathway. The ventral vagal pathway allows us to feel safe, engaged and connected. The dorsal vagal takes us out of this state and into a feeling of collapse, self-preservation and/or numbness. This can come from a single event that overwhelms our nervous system or from being in a sustained state of Fight or Flight activation. It is helpful to imagine these three states of being: sympathetic, dorsal and ventral, as a sort of ladder (see image below).
At the top of the ladder, in a ventral state, we feel grounded and settled. We feel organized and ready to meet the day and it’s a place where life feels manageable. We connect and communicate with others and we feel comfortable being our authentic selves. It is not a place free from difficulties but we are better able to respond to our distress. We might move down the ladder into a sympathetic state when we feel threatened by danger. We might feel anxiety, fear, panic or we might feel rage, anger, irritation or frustration. We lose our sense of being safe in the present moment and we react either by attacking (fight), or escaping (flight). When this state is sustained for a long time or we are trapped with this energy unable to use it, we can move down another rung into a dorsal collapse. Here, we might feel hopeless, numb, trapped and full of shame. We might still go through the motions but with no energy to care. We lose hope that anything will ever change. We collapse, disconnect and feel like we are disappearing.
So what happens next?
With a better understanding of our nervous system’s inner workings, we can begin to notice and track our own daily patterns of reaction. From there, we may begin to make a conscious effort to respond differently, take a break, make a different choice, show ourselves a little self-compassion and ultimately tend to our nervous system on a daily basis. Though we can all start engaging in this daily practice, remember that if you don’t know where to start, seeking professional help can be a good idea.
What are some of the benefits of having a regulated nervous system? A regulated nervous system means that we have more energy, better digestion (that brain-gut connection is strong!), better heart health, more restful sleep, and lower inflammation. It also means that we are less likely to develop diseases, have mood swings, and have disproportionate reactions to daily situations and stressors. When our bodies are in a state of healthy homeostasis, we are also disposed to feel more connected to ourselves, to others and to the world around us. That sounds pretty good to us!
