From time to time, while binge-watching episode after episode of Outlander on Netflix at midnight on a Tuesday as I eat my children’s leftover Halloween candy, I revel in the thrill of being an adult. As a kid, the fantasy of watching limitless TV, eating limitless candy, and staying up late on a school night was what I imagined adulthood must be like. I’m living the dream right now. What freedom.
We like to think that – as adults – we’ve finally earned the right to do whatever we want but like it or not, workplaces have policies, rules, and codes of conduct that govern our behaviour. We can’t just spew obscenities on the company Twitter feed, show up pantsless to the office, or microwave fish for lunch on the regular without fear of consequence or repercussion.
At the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, one of the things I remember feeling – in addition to the waves of panic and anxiety about the unknowns of the coronavirus and what it might bring – was, ironically, freedom. The world shutdown in March of 2020, and for the first time ever I felt like I had the permission to stay at home with my kids and just…exist – without expectation that I was supposed to be anywhere else or meeting a looming deadline. People and businesses were focused on just trying to adjust and survive in an atmosphere of complete uncertainty. And knowing that everyone else was in the same boat was both reassuring and oddly liberating. I had the tacit permission to just be.
Fast forward to today. Many businesses have already initiated, or are considering, a return to the office in one form or another. Pluses and minuses of remote work aside, many employees that have been working remotely are feeling resistance and apprehension at the prospect of a return, having appreciated the newfound flexibility to manage their time that working from home afforded them.
We expect adults to know what they need when they need it and to ask for it at work, but that’s not the reality for many of us. People are complicated. There are a number of reasons why – for some people – advocating for and prioritizing their well-being at work isn’t always comfortable, natural, or automatic. These can include factors, expectations, and social conditioning related to any number of aspects like gender, culture, authority, social norms, personality traits, and lived experience.
We also generally assume that people operate with their own self-interest in mind but again, that’s often not the case. The systems of reward and promotion in most workplaces are setup to provide incentives for people to put the interests of the company before their own – we reward and promote people who self-sacrifice and demonstrate high degrees of organizational commitment. Moreover, we often disparage people who don’t or can’t put in extra time or effort to meet company objectives as being “clock punchers” or people that aren’t “team players”. The reality is that the interests of the individual are often in direct contradiction to those of the company. Putting the interests of the company first often means you miss your kid’s soccer game, or need to reschedule that doctor’s appointment, or work through dinner to meet a deadline.
In both Canada and the US, less than 30% of employees took all of their allotted vacation time in 2021. Why? According to a recent survey by Qualtrics about the state of unused vacation time in the US, the most commonly cited reasons for not taking vacation included fear of falling behind on work while away, pressure from coworkers, and concern about letting the team down. In addition, almost half of survey respondents (49%) indicated they work at least 1 hour per day while on vacation, and 24% say they work at least 3 hours per day while on vacation.
Burnout is on the rise. According to a 2021 survey by Ceridian, 84% of Canadian workers reported having experienced burnout during the pandemic, with 34% of respondents describing their level of burnout as high or extreme.
This is why permission is so important. When I say “permission” I’m not talking about a please-sir-may-I-have-some-more or excuse-me-hall-monitor-but-can-I-have-the-hall-pass grade school style of permission. What I mean is a more sophisticated form of permission that focuses organizational expectations around providing autonomy and empowerment to employees to make a priority of their individual well-being.
There are a number of ways organizations can give permission, both formally and informally. Formal mechanisms might include systemic programs or initiatives that send a clear message about the organization’s support for employee welfare. Meeting-free days, implementing reduced workweeks, establishing regular company-paid days off, setting clear and unambiguous expectations around sending email outside of regular working hours, and offering other mechanisms to reward employees with time rather than pay are all examples of how companies can provide permission to prioritize individual well-being.
Leaders also have a real role to play in setting expectations with team members around asking for and taking time off, or extending deadlines if employees are under time pressure to meet them. According to Dr. Ashley Whillans at Harvard Business School, “employees – and women in particular – worry that if they ask for more time, they’ll be seen as less competent and motivated, even though […] data suggests that this is not always the case and that employees overestimate any negative reaction that their managers might have.” Managers can also lead by example – if they advise and encourage employees to take vacation time, and to disconnect while they’re on vacation – they should be modelling the same behaviour while they’re away to avoid sending mixed messages and any “do as I say, not as I do” type implications.
In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need this kind of permission, and prioritizing our own needs would be a non-issue. As Dr. Whillans points out, we’re often our own worst enemies when it comes to not advocating for ourselves, but we shouldn’t lose sight of the insidious systemic conditions that may be driving this. Racial inequality, gender inequality, and economic inequality can all fuel a sense that members of marginalized or disadvantaged groups may need to work twice as hard as their peers to get half as far. As a result, many of us may never feel comfortable advocating for what we need and – moreover – fear punishment or retaliation if we do. This can breed a kind of quiet compliance that may be good for business, but can do serious harm to the individual over time. This is why we need the corporate and governmental systems in place to make it safe (or, better still, to make it expected) to prioritize our well-being by providing us with permission to do it.
